Day 18 – PSC 18: What if we stopped saying we have to be “nice”…
…and learned instead to be prosocial?
In a world where professional relationships are increasingly hybrid and execution speed often outweighs connection quality, the ability to cultivate
prosocial attitudes has become a powerful marker of leadership.
This is PSC 18, a key competence too often confused with passive kindness or polite agreeableness.
Prosocial ≠ Nice
When we talk about prosociality, many think of being “nice,” “helpful,” or “not disturbing others.” But it’s more subtle than that. Developing prosocial attitudes means adopting behaviors that strengthen cohesion, psychological safety, and cooperation — without losing yourself.
It’s an active, intentional stance. It means choosing connection without falling into complacency.
It’s daring to say things clearly, without attacking. It’s seeking common ground without sacrificing your own truth.
Why it matters
Because we’re not meant to face everything alone. Our well-being, engagement, and sustainable performance rely on four fundamental pillars:
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Autonomy: having the freedom to make informed choices
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Responsibility: owning the impact of your actions, with respect for yourself and others
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Connection: feeling linked to others in a climate of trust
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Recognition: feeling seen, heard, and valued for who you are and what you contribute
PSC 18 – Developing Prosocial Attitudes acts as a catalyst for these pillars. It nurtures quality relationships grounded in mutual respect, cooperation, and psychological safety.
It fosters mutual recognition, strengthens trust, and encourages responsible autonomy. A prosocial mindset doesn’t seek to please — it seeks to contribute, with integrity, to the collective.
A concrete example: Prosocial Leadership
Imagine a manager notices a team member being particularly aggressive in a meeting.
They have three choices:
- Ignore it — to “keep the peace” — but this leaves the team without boundaries, and tension grows.
- Punish — correct them publicly — but this breeds fear and erodes trust.
- Act with prosociality — take the person aside, listen, frame the discussion, and offer a way forward.
They might say:
“I noticed the meeting was tense for you. I want to understand, because it’s important that everyone can contribute in a respectful climate.”
They listen without avoidance and state their needs clearly:
“I want us to be able to debate ideas without disrespect. If there’s frustration, let’s talk about it differently.”
Then they propose a constructive solution, without taking a superior stance:
“I’m open to adjusting how we work together. What matters is that we move forward together.”
🎯 Result: A stronger bond. A calmer team. And leadership that inspires.
Prosociality: The foundation of relational leadership
PSC 18 plays a central role both at work and in life. It allows you to:
• Defuse tension before it turns into conflict
• Strengthen team cohesion
• Prevent disengagement
• Build a culture of mutual support without sacrificing clarity
• Grow through complexity without losing your humanity
Being prosocial doesn’t mean pleasing everyone.
It means choosing the right kind of connection — one that helps others grow, strengthens relationships, and honors yourself.
🎯 Micro-action of the day
Think of a recent situation where you held back from speaking up “to be nice.”
What if you revisited it with a
prosocial mindset instead?
🧩 Try this:
• A phrase that connects.
• A question that sheds light.
• A rephrasing that reframes the situation.
And if you still hesitate, ask yourself this:
“Am I saying this to preserve the relationship… or to avoid discomfort?”
Going further
Tomorrow’s leaders won’t be the most technically skilled. They’ll be the ones who can stay connected through adversity, act with clarity without aggression, and co-create with courage.
That’s exactly what
PSC 18 – Prosociality helps you develop.
