Listening isn't waiting for your turn to speak. It's the first social competency, and probably the hardest.
DAY 15 - PSC 15
You've just crossed a milestone. You've learned to think critically, to understand, express and manage your emotions. Now it's time to move on to the third family: the social competencies.
Why? Because the human being is a creature of interdependence. Self-determination theory (Deci & Ryan) reminds us: we all need autonomy, competence, but also relationships and recognition.
And these relationships don't build themselves. They're built through acts, behaviours, words. They're built thanks to precise competencies, which can be learned. The family of social competencies comprises 7 capacities that help you build connection and psychological safety around you.
We start with PSC 15, empathetic listening. Not the active listening of management manuals. Not nodding your head to look the part. Not simply "letting the other person speak".
No. Empathetic listening is listening to understand what the other person is experiencing, not to correct or to reply.
It's suspending your own system of thinking. It's being quiet, truly. It's welcoming, without judgement, what the other person feels, thinks, fears, hopes.
And it's probably one of the most powerful competencies in leadership, in friendship, in family.
Why is it essential? Because in business, we too often listen in order to reply. Because in meetings, we wait for our turn to speak. But often, listening is the most human and the most useful action. It turns tension into understanding, defensiveness into openness, a misunderstanding into a relationship.
🌱 Today's micro-action: In your next interaction (1-to-1, meeting, informal moment), ask a genuine question, then stay quiet. Resist the temptation to reply. Just do this: "I'm listening, go ahead." Observe what it changes.
Listening empathetically isn't being passive. It's being fully present. And in a rushed world, it's a radical act of leadership.
Tomorrow, we'll talk about PSC 16, communicating effectively. But today, offer someone genuine listening. You'll see what it creates.
See you tomorrow,
Krumma
