Listening is not waiting for your turn to speak. It’s the first social skill, and probably the hardest one.
Day 15 – PSC 15
You’ve just reached a milestone. You’ve learned to think critically, to understand, express, and manage your emotions. Now it’s time to move on to the third family: social skills.
Why? Because human beings are interdependent.
Self-determination theory (Deci & Ryan) reminds us that we all need autonomy, competence, and also relationships built on trust and recognition.
And these relationships don’t build themselves. They are created through actions, behaviors, and words. They grow thanks to specific skills that can be learned. The social skills family includes 7 abilities that help you build connection and psychological safety around you.
We start with PSC 15 – Empathic Listening.
Not the active listening from management books. Not nodding to look good. Not just “letting the other person talk.”
No. Empathic listening means listening to understand what the other person is experiencing, not to correct or respond.
It means suspending your own thoughts. Truly being silent. Welcoming, without judgment, what the other person feels, thinks, fears, or hopes.
And it’s probably one of the most powerful skills in leadership, friendship, and family.
Why is it essential?
Because in the workplace, we often listen only to reply.
Because in meetings, we wait for our turn to speak.
Listening is often the most human and useful action. It turns tension into understanding, defense into openness, misunderstanding into connection.
Micro-action of the day: During your next interaction (1-to-1, meeting, informal moment), ask a real question, then stay silent. Resist the urge to respond. Just say: “I’m listening, go ahead.” Observe what happens.
Listening with empathy is not passive. It’s being fully present. And in a fast-paced world, it’s an act of radical leadership.
Tomorrow we’ll talk about PSC 16 – Communicating effectively.
But today, offer someone true listening. You’ll see what it creates.
See you tomorrow,
Krumma
