Conflict Isn’t the Problem — It’s How We Respond to It
PSC 21: The Last, but Not the Least

You want to avoid conflict? Bad idea. You want to win it? Even worse.
Conflict isn’t inherently a problem. It’s often an expression of differing needs, values, emotions, or priorities.

What we do with it, however, can be either destructive — or constructive.

That’s precisely where PSC 21 comes in: learning to resolve conflicts constructively.
This competence isn’t about avoiding tension or “winning” an argument. It’s about adopting a more mature, strategic perspective — one that aligns with your values: cooperation, not domination.

Resolving a conflict isn’t giving in. It’s doing better.
This social competence means managing disagreements in a way that seeks positive solutions for all parties.

It builds on several other PSCs you’ve already practiced:
• Empathic listening (PSC 15)
• Effective communication (PSC 16)
• Assertiveness (PSC 20)
• Emotion management (PSC 12)

Conflict then becomes a space for learning, clarification, and sometimes even repair.
It can strengthen relationships when addressed intentionally: through understanding, dialogue, and the search for a fair and lasting solution.

Leadership and Conflict: A Chance to Grow
A leader who always avoids conflict loses credibility.
A leader who imposes without understanding loses engagement.
But a leader who dares to name disagreements, set boundaries, and seek mutually beneficial solutions becomes a model — a catalyst.

They build conditions of trust, even in tension.

A concrete example:
Imagine a project meeting where two team members disagree on a method.
You could impose your view — or you could explore:

“I hear there are two perspectives here. What if we looked for a third option that takes into account what matters most to both of you?”

That’s not weakness. That’s strength — the posture of a mature leader.

What if you tried this week?

💥 Take a recent conflict (personal or professional) and revisit it using this new lens.
What were the underlying needs? Was there an unspoken “no”?
How could you have encouraged a constructive resolution?

💥 Pair up with someone and practice rephrasing conflictual statements in a constructive way.
It changes everything.



Remember: A well-managed conflict strengthens bonds.
Ignored or poorly handled, it destroys them.

Krumma