Day 18, PSC 18: What if we stopped saying you have to be nice…
…and learned instead to be prosocial? In a world where professional relationships are increasingly hybrid, where speed of execution sometimes takes priority over the quality of the bond, the ability to develop prosocial attitudes becomes a powerful marker of leadership.
This is PSC 18, a competency too often confused with soft niceness or passive politeness.
Prosocial ≠ nice When we talk about prosociality, many think of "being nice", "helping others", or "not being a bother". But it's far subtler than that. Developing prosocial attitudes means adopting behaviours aimed at strengthening cohesion, psychological safety and cooperation, without forgetting yourself.
It's an active, intentional posture. It's choosing connection, without slipping into complacency. It's daring to say things, without attacking. It's seeking the shared solution, without sacrificing your own truth.
Why is it so important? Because we aren't made to face everything alone. Our wellbeing, our engagement, our ability to perform sustainably rest on four fundamental pillars:
• Autonomy: having the freedom to make informed choices,
• Responsibility: owning the impact of your choices, with respect for yourself and others,
• Relationships: feeling connected to others in a climate of trust,
• Recognition: feeling seen, heard, valued for who you are and what you bring.
PSC 18, developing prosocial attitudes, acts as a catalyst for these four pillars. It fosters quality relationships, anchored in mutual respect, cooperation and psychological safety. It nourishes mutual recognition, strengthens bonds of trust, and encourages responsible autonomy, because prosocial behaviour doesn't seek to please… but to contribute to the collective with integrity.
A concrete example: prosocial leadership Picture this: a manager notices that a member of their team was particularly aggressive in a meeting.
They have three choices:
- Ignore: act as if nothing happened, to "preserve the atmosphere", but this leaves the team without a framework, and the tension sets in.
- Punish: reprimand in front of everyone, but this creates fear, and sabotages trust.
- Act with prosociality: they take the person aside, listen, set a framework, propose a way out.
They might say, for example: "I saw that the meeting was tense for you. I want to understand, because it matters that everyone can contribute in a respectful climate."
They listen without backing away, and state their needs clearly: "I care about us being able to debate ideas without disrespecting one another. If you feel frustrated, we can talk about it differently."
And they propose a concrete solution, without setting themselves up as an absolute superior: "I'm open to adjusting how we work together. What matters is that we move forward together."
👉 The result? A strengthened bond. A calmer team. And a leadership that inspires.
Prosociality, a pillar of relational leadership PSC 18 is central in the world of work… and in personal life.
It allows you to:
• defuse tensions before they become conflicts,
• strengthen team cohesion,
• prevent disengagement,
• support a culture of mutual help without sacrificing clarity,
• grow within complexity, without losing your humanity.
Being prosocial isn't about pleasing people.
🎯 Today's micro-action Spot a recent situation where you didn't dare say things out of "niceness". What if you went back to it with a prosocial posture?
• A phrase that connects.
• A question that sheds light.
• A rephrasing that re-establishes the framework.
And if you're still hesitating, ask yourself this simple question: Am I saying this to preserve the relationship… or to avoid tension?
To go further Tomorrow's leaders won't be the most technically competent. They'll be the ones able to hold the bond in adversity, to act with clarity without violence, and to co-build with courage.
And that's exactly what PSC 18, prosociality, develops.
